I really didn't think I would be caught unprepared when the effects of my chronic conditions became apparent to me. I was sure I'd see them coming. Not so smart, I know. I didn't realise most of these effects were already present.

The other night my emotional roof caved in all because I couldn't see enough to unravel the sleeve of a shirt I had hung on our bathroom door handle. I was king-hit by a shirt sleeve. Disappointed with myself doesn't come close. After I got my BP and pulse under some control, I realised just how close under the surface is this parasite-trigger called Frustration. And it is a terrible trigger. When I let it, frustration drains my mind and body of hope, a willingness to try to cope with the present and any self worth I might have. I know when this parasite bites. It injects 'useless' into every part of my being. On good days I see this for what it is. On not-so-good days...life sucks.

Every day and night I have to humbly reassure myself I am worth more than the sum of all my parts, even if some parts don't work properly. I have to decide to be grateful to the One who made me for who I am. Who I am is way more precious than what I am.