*Please note I have no surgical, medical or allied health qualifications to make any recommendations, judgments or opinions on treatment you have received, now receiving or plan to receive.
My psychologist friend asked me what I miss most when my chronic pain is chronically intense. I said, "company". But not just the well meaning person who says, "Hi Alan how are you?" I know it's a common greeting but when my pain levels are chronically intense, it is pretty obvious it's the wrong question, asked mainly because they don't know what else to say.
It would have been more helpful if my visitor had said, "I was thinking of you so I decided to drop by to let you know I'm thinking of you and wondered if I might make us coffee/tea."
I have a few code words/phrases I use depending on who is asking after me. EG:
Does the enquirer really want to know?
"Good thanks, are you OK??
An enquirer looking for a general reply.
"Not too bad, thanks."
For someone I know isn't really interested.
"I'm fine."
'fine' is my electric fence that says "That's as far as you go."
There are others but you get the idea.
Insightful friends are timely encouragements when loneliness is everything that it's cracked up to be. They help lighten my load-often at just the right time. When I don't get pain relief and I'm sick to death of the whole business, my loneliness is often crushing. Having said that, I would be lost without my precious wife.
The company of understanding friends is a healthy blessing and good distraction. They give me the opportunity to focus on them instead of myself. A nice change because I for one, tend to spend a lot of tine focusing on the immediate issues affecting the 'universe' I live in.
It's good to get outside our home daily if that's possible, even for a short time. I know it might be uncomfortable & a lot of effort but in the long run, I know it's good for me even if I'm slow to admit it. It's just one angle of Excellence-doing the best I can with what I've got on the day.