Another post I am not keen to write. One part of my mind whispered, "You did commit to honest writing so that readers might connect with you, didn't you?" Another part of my mind shouted, "Are you barking mad? Do you really want people reading about things so personal to you...really? "
A bit before Christmas, I noticed a change in my eyesight. Long story short, my low level sight further reduced significantly. Checks showed a fresh bleed in my eye reducing what sight I had. I have little sight in the other eye, so this news was hard to accept. I felt like my little world was caving in with the scary question, "Am I slowly going totally blind??"
I felt the weight of being overwhelmed by having no control over my capacity to see. I ache to see clearly. Yet no matter how much frustration, anger, fear and uncertainty I felt it wouldn't change a thing. The unexpected tells me I'm still coming to terms with what has happened. I try to be calm when talking to folk about this latest development but deep down I feel shattered. Yet I know what's in store if I give in. Tomorrow I have to try my best, even though I don't I know what that is yet. Mr Fraser said, "Life was not meant to be easy." Thanks for the reminder.
Perhaps you understand now, why I didn't want to write this post.