I think what hits me hardest, is the harsh reality that my health is not going to gradually improve. Actually my health is gradually going the other way. Several years ago I thought I had come to terms with what might be in store. Expectations are one thing - reality is proving to be quite another.
Losing my sight threatens me. I just didn’t expect it. Increasing arthritis effects every joint as well as mobility. My wife sees for me when we are in public places and I’m so grateful for her help. At the same time, I do miss my independence. The other day I knocked over my full coffee mug in a restaurant. A dreadful experience.
I have to reason with myself that most folk will appreciate my situation and be very understanding. Still it is so easy to let these limitations diminish me. It is far too easy to focus on what I can no longer do than it is to accept myself for who I am now. I am blessed with my family and other loved ones. I’d rather not think about them not being there.