Dr M. Scott Peck is the author of A Road Less Travelled. In these uncertain days, a timely re-read for me I think. Since January this year I have performed my un-clinical, un-scientific eyesight tests. I knew my sight was diminishing and hoped it would stabilise at the time of each little test. But that wasn't to be. The blunt fact is I have trouble accepting I can no longer see with the left eye. Only a little light or dark registers. So is that it? Maybe. Yet I am very grateful for the limited, unfocused peripheral sight in the right eye. It could be worse.
Surgeons said there is no procedure to reverse the condition. So unless there is a miracle healing, this is how things will be now. Reasonably easy to write. Anything but easy to embrace. A few people suggested writing about all this could be very cathartic (look it up) for me. Not yet it isn't. Even as I write now I am working hard to rein in my frustration at my increased dependence on others for stuff I previously didn't think twice about doing. Now I'm conscious of the added pressure on my wife and other family offering support. I don't think it's self pity.
I haven't yet learned how to think and conduct myself as one who is very close to being completely blind. The physical impact of all this on long term arthritis is a strong reminder of just how integrated is the human body. When one part hurts, every other part hurts. The reverse is also very true. When one part experiences joy, so do all the other parts. But at this moment, coming to terms with these intrusive limitations eludes me. Being uncomfortable with constant change probably means I have some way to go along my road less travelled. I wonder how long this will take.